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[i=s] 本帖最后由 晴歌丽诗 于 2009-4-6 20:48 编辑 [/i]
我也不知道自己怎么翻的…凑合看吧…
[i=s] 本帖最后由 晴歌丽诗 于 2009-4-1 16:28 编辑 [/i]
Unshatterable love by Acapella
PART ONE (铺垫)
Clay在床边坐下,淡褐色的眼睛充满泪水,他盯着自己的膝盖。“我,我可以解释的,Joe..”
Joe站在Clay的面前,站在他的爱人,他的生命面前。他的绿眼睛也湿润了。他摇了摇头。“无论你说什么,都解释不了刚刚发生的事情。”Joe的声音很轻柔,充满了痛苦,还带着气愤所致的一丝颤抖。他用两根手抬起Clay的下巴,以便看到他的眼睛。Clay顺从地抬头——现在,Clay再无法拒绝Joe的任何要求。
当Clay看着Joe的眼睛,看到里面盛满的痛苦,眼泪开始滚下他的面颊。“你吻了别人,Clay。我根本不想听你的理由。我只要你收拾东西,马上离开这所房子。”Joe低声说,眼泪不受控制地流下来,他望向Clay的脸。Clay的面孔..他曾无数次,幸福时,欢乐时,惬意时望着的面孔。现在他又望向它,因为他想这可能是最后一次。
Clay倒抽了一口气,“求你了Joe,”他恳求,像个孩子一样。“求你别赶我走。我不想走..”他哭得更厉害了,努力从Joe手里挣脱出来。这可能是他最后一次,感觉他唯一爱过的人温柔的注视,这种想法太痛苦了。他恨自己。他怎么敢,在酒醉之后,亲吻了爱人以外的人。真该死。然后,当他沉浸在自怜自艾中,突然感到Joe的手指又一次抬起了他的下巴。
他们四目相对,灵魂彼此相触。都哽咽着。“我不想让你走。”Joe说,眼泪还在大滴大滴地落下,他蹲下来直视Clay的眼睛。受害者和罪犯拥抱在一起,他们知道,只一个吻并不能让彼此的关系破灭…但已动摇了它。
事实上,即使相拥着,他们都感到它已被动摇了一点。但正在好起来。
他们相拥许久,哭泣,倾诉爱意。Clay抽着鼻子,轻轻推开爱人,看着他。“Joe,”他轻声说,“我想补偿你..”Joe摇摇头“我不知道…”
一时间安静了。那句话就在Clay的嘴边,可他就是不能让自己说出口..这一直是他一个秘密的幻想。只有自己知道,他灵魂中从未让任何人触及的部分。但这是Joe应得的。他知道Joe可以应付——至少他希望是的。他躲避着Joe的目光,深吸了一口气,小声而快速地说出“你可以打我。”
Joe咽了一下口水,痛苦的同时感到困惑,“什–什么?”
Clay紧紧闭上他的眼睛,泪水从眼角滑下来,他抬头向着Joe,舔了舔嘴唇。“打我屁股..我犯错了。请惩罚我。”他睁大眼睛看着Joe,而后者只是回望。他的态度并不明确。他坐回脚后跟上,仔细看着自己的爱人。然后终于,在一段对Clay来说漫长而痛苦的时间后,Joe 站起来,猛吸了一口气,又呼出来 。他点点头“好吧,”他终于打破了沉默,“Clay,去冲个澡,而我要去散一会儿步..”Clay艰难地吞咽着吐沫,想着自己是做了一件蠢事,直到Joe又说“我回来的时候”他顿了一下,像在思考着脑子里的话,不相信自己真的要说出来,“我要你站在墙角,衣服脱光”
[i=s] 本帖最后由 晴歌丽诗 于 2009-4-1 16:31 编辑 [/i]
PART TWO (推进)
短暂的视线接触,Joe走出了房间,留下Clay一个人。
Joe离开公寓,在附近漫无目的的走着,整理思绪。他要责打自己的爱人。他要伤害Clay因为Clay伤害了他。他需要时间思考..但突然,所有联系都清晰起来。它们开始显得正确。没错。这就是Joe和Clay,他们的生活所需要的。Clay总是不负责任得让Joe简直想抓住他的肩膀,摇醒他——或者,也有过一次或两次,想到打他的屁股,打醒他..只是他从没想过确切的感受是怎样,直到Clay主动提出。都清楚了。现在他感到充满活力。健步如飞。他看了一眼手表,刚刚过去20分钟。Clay大概还没有洗完澡。还是再走走吧。
Joe发现自己站在离公寓40个街区远的一家药店门前。由于某些不明的原因,他感到应该走进去,并听从自己的本能。他无目的的走着,直走到了Beauty Section..现在他知道自为什么要进来了。
Clay坐在浴缸里。胃翻搅着。他真想知道Joe在想什么。会不会,Joe根本觉得他是个怪物,只是假装接受了他的建议。他呼吸沉重,想着所有的过往,心里明白这就是他需要的——是他希望的,他用生命祈祷Joe也是这样认为的。他明白,在灵魂中的某处,所有他犯过的错,都指向他不为人知的黑暗秘密。他知道,如果Joe从一开始就立场坚定,如果他让Clay横过他的膝盖,哪怕就给他一两巴掌,那整个“亲吻别人”的事情就决不可能发生。他也知道,在心灵深处,他醉酒和亲近别人的唯一理由,就是Joe可能会看到,然后给他一顿好打。然而当Joe让他搬出去的时候,他意识到,他们的关系是真实的。看到Joe的痛苦,他的幻想破灭了。他明白这不是儿戏。他想到喊停,因为那只不过是下意识的举动。
一个小时以后,Joe回到公寓,手里拿着一个袋子。他本期望会乖乖站在墙角的Clay此刻正安坐在床上。Joe皱起眉毛,把袋子扔到了一边。“为什么你不在你的位置上?”Clay站起来,费力地咽着吐沫,开始结结巴巴地说话。“我想我们应该到此为止。这是个错误。我不能因为所犯的过错而得到我一直期望的东西。我——”Joe打断了他。“Clay,”Joe轻声说,手臂环住他“Shh.我想要这样做。这是你应得的,也是我应得的。”Clay抓紧了Joe的手臂,不敢相信自己听到的。“这样就对了,Clay。这样才对。”Joe说着温柔地亲吻Clays的脖子。“我们开始吧,亲爱的..”他放开Clay,坐在床上,拍了拍大腿。
[i=s] 本帖最后由 晴歌丽诗 于 2009-4-1 16:32 编辑 [/i]
PART THREE (惩罚)
虽然从没有经历过,但是Clay读到过很多、很多次,完全知道该怎么做(并惊奇Joe也是如此)。他慢慢地横过Joe的大腿,在那里不安地扭动。他盯着地板,感觉到Joe的手开始摩擦他的屁股。“舒适吗?”Joe问。“是的,先生。”Clay小声说。‘先生’?那是怎么来的。Joe和Clay都不知道,但他们都觉得这是对的。
Joe轻揉、抚摸着Clay的屁股,直到它在安静的注视下发热。然后没有警告地,落下一击。第一下,Clay倒抽着气扬起脑袋,但只是得到了又一下拍打。然后又是一下,然后又一下。就像是一个闸门打开了..Clay身后疼痛的闸门。他从没想到会这么疼,他要喊停。“Owowowow!”但是拍打继续着,更快更重地。他的腿在空中划动着。“OW 停下!求你停下!”Clay开始哭叫,眼泪扑簌簌落下。终于,Joe停了下来。Clay大口地呼吸,庆幸这终于结束了。Joe轻柔地按摩Clay深红色的双丘,然后拿起了已被Clay遗忘的那个袋子。
Clay回过头,看见Joe从袋子里拿出一个巨大的木发刷,他的眼睛瞬间睁大了。“Oh 求你了,先生,求你了..”Joe专注地看着着Clay的眼睛,直到后者不得不回身面对地板,他屈服了。这是他应得的。感觉到发刷被放在刺痛的屁股上,他颤抖着绷紧了身体。然后Joe举起手,发刷狠狠拍击他的左臀。“OW!”Clay叫道,手伸向身后保护屁股。但Joe好像本能地知道怎么做,Clay的手被反剪在身后。“BE. GOOD.”Joe说,每说一个字,发刷就重重落下两次。这已经足够了,对Clay来说..他已经彻底被驯服了,眼泪奔流出眼眶。在Joe的掌控下他是那样无助,只有Joe要停下时,这一切才会停下..一切本该如此。接下来是一下又一下的猛击,啪!啪!啪!“OwwwWWWW,”Clay叫着,呼吸颤抖,哽咽。
Joe让Clay的屁股整个燃烧起来(至少Clay这样觉得)。至少有一百下狠打落在Clay裸露的臀上。
Joe停下的时候Clay已经哭成了泪人。他几乎不可察觉地在Joe腿上扭动着,想减轻一些疼痛。Joe看着自己的爱人,放开了他的手腕,轻揉他刺痛的屁股。Clay把脸埋进毛毯,小声抽泣("ugh huuhhuhh") 。Joe继续揉着他疼痛的肌肉。谁也没有说什么。他们只是,像他们本来应该的那样..他们本该如此。
Clay sat down on the bed, hazel eyes filling with tears, as he stared down at his lap. "I.. I can explain, Joe.."
Joe stood infront of Clay, his lover, his life, his own green eyes filling with tears, as he shook his head. "Nothing you can say can explain what happened." Joes voice was soft, filled with pain and even trembled with some anger as well. He took two of his fingers and placed them under Clays chin so that he can meet his eyes. Clay complied with very effort from Joe — after all, Clay could never deny anything Joe wanted..
Tears began to roll Clays face when he met Joes eyes when he face the pain he caused his beloved. "You kissed another man, Clay. I dont even want to hear your logic behind it. All I want right now is for you to pack your bags and get out of this house," Joe whispered, his eyes begining to leak tears, as he carressed Clays face gently. Clays face.. the very face he had carrassed so many times before out of happiness, out of joy, out of comfort. Now he was doing it because he thought this was going to be the last time..
Clay gasped and shuttered, "please joe," he began to beg, almost unaudibly. "Please dont throw me out. I dont want to go.." He started to cry hard, ripping his face away from Joes hand — as it was too painful, knowing that it might be the last time he felt that kind of love from the only man he ever loved. He hated himself. How dare he, in a drunken moment, at a stupid party, kiss someone else other then his lover! He deserved to be killed. Then all of a sudden, in the middle of his self pity and hatred, he felt the firm grip of Joes thumb and forefinger grab his chin and lift his face upward.
Their eyes met, and inbetween both of their pain, their souls met. They both drew shuttering breaths. "I dont want you to go," Joe whispered, breathing hard, tears flowing freely, as he dropped to his knees so that he was at direct eye contact with Clay. They embraced, the victim and the perpetrated, knowing that one little kiss couldnt break the bond that they had… but it had shaken it.
As a matter of fact, even with the embrace, and the similiar emotions flowing through both of them right now, the bond was still a tad shaky. But it was getting better.
They held each other for over five minutes, crying into each other, and muttering their "I love you"s when Clay pulled gently away, sniffling, looking at his lover. "Joe," he whispered, "I want to make this up to you.." Joe stared at Clay and shook his head, "I dont know how…"
There was a silence. The words were at the tip of Clays tongue, but he just couldnt quite bring himself to say them.. It was all ways a secret fantasy of his. Something that he alone knew and he had never let anyone into that part of his psyche but he knew that Joe had earned it.. He knew that Joe was able to handle it — At least he had hoped so. His eyes ripped away from Joes and in one deep breath he quickly muttered the words "you can spank me."
Joe swallowed hard, and in emotional pain in confusion, he said "w-what.. ?"
Clay closed his eyes hard, tears begining to form in the corner of his eyes, as he turned his hed back to Joe and licked his lips. "Spank me.. I did something wrong. Please spank me for it." He widely opened his eyes to stare at Joe, who just stared back. His expression was unreadable. He leaned back on his heels so that he could get a better look at his lover. Then finally, after a long, painful time for Clay, Joe stood up, and inhaled deeply through his nostrils and audibly let it out. Joe nodded. "All right," he finally broke the silence softly. "Clay, take a bath and Im going to take a walk.." Clay swallowed hard, thinking he had made a fool of himself, before Joe added "and when I get back," he paused, as if he was thinking over the words in his head, not believing he was actually going to say them, "I want you standing in the corner, naked.."
Their eyes connected for a second before Joe broke contact and simply walked out of the room, leaving Clay by himself.
Joe left their apartment and began to walk aimelessly around the neighborhood, gathering his thoughts. He was going to spank the one he loved. He was going to hurt Clay for hurting him. He needed some time to think on that.. and shamelessly as the dots started to connect, they started to make more and more sense. They started to feel good. This was right. This is what Joe and Clay needed in their lives. Clay was always irresponsible and many times Joe had found himself wanting to grab him by the shoulders and shake some sense into him — and possible, even once or twice, spank some sense into him.. Only he hadnt quite pinpointed what exactly that feeling was until Clay had put it into perspective for him. What started out as just walking became bouncy. There was a bounce with each step that Joe took. He glance down at his watch–it had only been twenty minutes since he left. Not nearly enough time for Clay to be done with his bath. Ah well, he better keep walking then.
Joe found himself infront of an old pharmacy about fourty blocks down from his home. For some unknown reason he felt compelled to go in there and followed his instincts. He walked aimelessly around the store until he came upon the Beauty Section.. ah, now he knew why he had entered.
Clay sat in the hot bathtub, bathing himself. His stomach was tied up in knots. He wondered what Joe was thinking. If Joe thought he was a weirdo and was just playing along for the sake of him. He breathed heavily, thinking over his trangression (and others he made in the past) and knew that this is what he needed — and hoped and prayed with all of his being that Joe thought that too. He knew, somewhere deep in his psyche, that all of the misdeeds that he ever found himself doing all led back to his deep dark secret that he hid away from the world. He knew that if Joe had just put his foot down from the begining, that if he had just thrown Clay over his knee and even given him one or two smacks, that this whole kissing another man thing would have never happen. He even knew, somewhere deep down, that the only reason he had gotten drunk and kissed that guy was so that Joe could, on the off chance, see it and, to put it blata
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ntly, spank the living day lights out of him. However when Joe told him to get out he realized that this relationship and their love was a reality. When he saw the pain on Joes face his fantasy was shattered. Clay knew that he had no right to be playing to Joe like a chess peice at the moment the tears began to roll. He was almost thinking of calling the whole thing off due to the fact that all started with an act of subconcious manipulation.
An hour past before Joe entered his apartment, plastic bag in hand. He made his way to the bedroom where he had expected to see Clay nose deep in the corner, only to find him sitting on his ass on the bed. Joes eyes furrowed as he tossed the plastic bag. "Why arent you in the corner?" Clay stood up, and swallowed hard and began to babble. "I think we should call this off. Its a mistake. I dont deserve what I wanted for so long because of what Ive done. I–.." But Joe cut him off. "Clay," Joe said softly, taking Clay into his arms. "Shh. I want to do this. You deserve this and so do I." Clay tensed up in Joes arms, unbelieving of what he was hearing. "This is right, Clay. This is right for you and I." Joe gently swayed and kissed the side of Clays neck. "Lets get going, love.." He released Clay from his arms, and sat down on the bed, patting his thigh.
Clay, never having done this before, but had read about it many, many times, knew exactly what to do (and was quite shocked that Joe did). He crept slowly over Joes thighs and squirmed uncomfortably. He felt Joes hand begin to rub his ass, as he stared at the floor. "Comfortable?" Joe asked. "Yes, sir," Clay said softly. Sir? Where did THAT come from. Joe and Clay both had no idea but they both knew it felt right.
Joe gently circled and palmed Clays ass for a little while as they basked in silence and contemplation. Then without warning there was a gunshot that filled the room. The first smack. Clay gasped and shot his head up, only to be responded with another smack. And then another, and another. It was as if a flood gate opened.. a flood gate of stinging, uncomfortable swats to Clays rearend. He hadnt expected it to felt like this and began to call out. "Owowowow!" But still the swats kept coming, harder and faster. Before Clay knew it his legs lifted up and began to slice through the air. "OW Stop! Please stop!," Clay cried out, tears creeping their way to the edges of his eyes. Finally, before the tears started to flow, Joe did stop. Clay breathed hard, greatful that it was finally over. Joe massaged Clays deeply pink cheeks for a minute before he reached over for the plastic bag that Clay had forgotten about.
Clay looked over, and his eyes widened when Joe had pulled out a huge wooden hairbrush from the bag. "Oh please, sir, please.." Joe turned to stare at Clay, quiet contemplation over his face, and that was just enough for Clay to turn back around and face the floor, resignation just coming over him. This is what he deserved. He shuddered and grew tight as he felt the hairbrush lay against his stinging flesh. Then Joe threw back his hand and smacked the hairbrush into the left side of his ass. "OW!" Clay said, throwing his hand back to protect his ass. But somehow, instinctively, Joe was waiting for that and caught his hand, holding it on the small of his back. Clay gasped as he found himself more helpless then ever, trying to get his hand away from Joes so that he can rub his smarting backside. "BE. GOOD." Joe said, implementing each word with two hard cracks of the hairbrush. This was enough for Clay… his whole body relaxing in submission as the tears began to flow. He was helpless in Joes hands and this was only going to stop once Joe wanted it to.. the way it should be. Then the cracks started. CRACK, CRACK, CRACK. "OwwwWWWW," Clay hollared, drawing in a shuddering breath, catching it in his throat with a sob.
Joe peppered Clays whole backside with fire and brimestone from the hairbrush (or at least this is what Clay thought it was). There were at least a hundred spanks that had hit Clays reddening (and purpling) bottom before Joe stopped.
Clay was a sobbing mess by the time Joe was finished. He was all most unnoticably rocking back and forth over Joes lap to allieve some of the sting. Joe looked down at his lover, and with the hand that was wrapped so tightly around Clays wrist, he began to circle and massage his palm into Clays stinging flesh. Clay withdrew his hand from his back and nuzzled his face into the blanket, sobbing ("ugh huuhhuhh") gently into it. Joe continued to rub Clays burning flesh. Both of them said nothing for a long time. They just stayed like that.. the way they should have always been. The right way.
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